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Science Project

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I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing.

He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed......

On further inquiring I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water .......Under his wife's supervision.
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DRIVING TEST

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A lady failed the driving test 4 times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass. But the test had the same question : "You are driving at 120 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road, you see a old man and a young man. What will you hit ?".

The woman walked up to the examiner and said, "I've answered this question in all four ways, wall, cliff, young man, old man. Yet I failed all the four times. How is this possible? What am I supposed to hit ????"

Examiner : "The brakes!!!"
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In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said,
"Anyone with 'special needs" who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand on Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole con
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gregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, " I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
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Some times Seniors don't Understand Directions. I assume we are all Seniors. This is why you (a Senior?) should listen to your Doctors instructions.

I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists' high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.

The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me? Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along. He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and
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swilled it around. Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, "now, does that taste sweet to you?"

The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"

I said, "Oh, thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!"
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A couple of nuns who were nurses had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.

Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or can. One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use it. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple of q
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uarts of gas into the pan. He waved good-bye to the nuns and left.

The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by. The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said, "Sisters, I don't think it will work, but I sure do admire your faith!"
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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