1
Seven retired Italian Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Guido loses $500 on a single-hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Giovanni looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?"

They cut the cards. Pasquale picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

Pasquale responds, "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discre
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tion is my middle name. Leave it to me!"

So, Pasquale goes over to the Guido's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Pasquale declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Pasquale.

3
A British ship encounters problems in German waters

"This is ze German coastguard, how kan ve help?"

"We're sinking! We're sinking!"

"..."

"..."

"...vat are you sinking about?"
2
Q: What does a polish bride get on her wwedding day that is long and hard?
A: A polish last name.
2
Q: Why did they tear down the new arena in Warsaw?
A: Because everywher you sat you were behind a pole.
2
Q: What do you call a polish person who works for the telephone company?

A: A telephone pole.
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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