Outdoor Barbecuing

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Outdoor Barbecuing It's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion: 1. The woman goes to the store. 2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. 3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a soda. 4. The man places the meat on the grill. 5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. 6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is bu
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rning. 7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. 8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. 9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, 'Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.'

His wife replied, 'What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!'

The husband said, 'I know all that.'

'Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?' asked the wife.

The guy answered, 'Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Mary Jack and Buster

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There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision. So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...'

And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got
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a headache!'

Reality ChecK!

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A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says,'What are you doing?'

She answers, 'I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!'

Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he's going, he replies... 'I'm going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!
'So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband.' asked Gertrude's best friend.

'Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. 'All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!', Gertrude replied.
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