An Englishman Joke.

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An Englishman comes home and finds his wife in bed with three men, and says "Ello!, Ello!!, Ello!!!"

So, his wife says, "Wot? Not speaking to me then?"

Biker Bar

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A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's
house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine
looking woman!"
The tough Biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
confused, because he is one bad tough Biker, and would fight at any
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your
grandma and she is go
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od - the best I ever had!"
The tough Biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the tough
Biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you
something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the tough Biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders
and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk....... Go home!"
The other day, Harry aged 70, came home and was greeted by his wife, dressed only in very revealing sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So, Harry tied her up and went golfing.

Being a modest man...

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Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to
the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is

To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”

British weather

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Q: Why is the British weather like Islam?
A: Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite.
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