Garage Door

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The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'

The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up.
He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you
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see my Jaguar parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires..

drives women crazy?

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Q.: What's four inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?

A.: An empty toilet paper roll.

your wife

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An older gentleman goes to answer a knock at the door one evening, only to find two sheriff deputy’s standing there.

“Sir, are you married?” one deputy asked.

“Why, yes I am,” the old man replied. “For over 48 years.”

“Do you have a photograph of your wife, sir?” the second deputy questioned.

The old man pulled a picture out his wallet and handed to the officers. They looked it over and handed it back to him.

“Sir, I’m sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”

The old man says, “I know, sir, but she’s a great cook and she does have a wonderful personality.”
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Bubba had shingles

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Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bub
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ba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.'

The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

Another Dad joke

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Another Dad joke. This one is from my Dad. He's ninety-three.

Mavis was bored with life living in the seniors home. To spice things up she decided to streak through the dining room. So, she took all her clothes off and ran through the five o'clock sitting in the dining room.

Two ninety-three year old guys, Harold and Ralph, were sitting there as Mavis streaked through.

Harold turned to Ralph and said, "What the hell was that?"

Ralph replied, "I don't know, but whatever it was it sure needed ironing."
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