4

my ex-wife

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Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been
thinking, now that we are married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.
You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.

Tom got a horrified look on his face.

S
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he said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Tom replied: “I wasn't"


6

divorce

rsstacey Jokes My Joke   Discuss    Add To
After divorce, most men realize that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.
4

Three friends

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'

Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
-1

the plot thickens

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I'm reading a murder mystery where they bury the guy in cornstarch. I just got to the part where the plot thickens.
3

Hillbilly View

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A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt. The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled.

The woman snaps at him, 'Well, I can see that you're no gentleman!'

The hillbilly replies, 'And I kin see you ain't one, neither!'
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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