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Hillbilly View

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A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt. The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled.

The woman snaps at him, 'Well, I can see that you're no gentleman!'

The hillbilly replies, 'And I kin see you ain't one, neither!'
5

Love

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Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

'Oh! Ted died last week.' the first lady replied, 'He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!'

'Oh dear! I'm very sorry,' replied her friend, 'What did you do?'

'Opened a can of peas.' she replied.
2

effects the brain

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Scientists recently did a study on the effects the right side and left side of a brain had on counting. They first took out the left half of a man's brain and asked him to count to 10.

He says, "2, 4, 6, 8, 10".

They put the left half back in and removed the right half, asking him to count to 10 again.

He says "1, 3, 5, 7, 9".

Finally they decided to just go for it and removed the whole brain. They again asked him to count to 10 one more time.

He says, "Look. I'm great at counting to 10, ok? I love numbers and I have the best numbers. No one has better numbers than I do. My 4th
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grade math teacher - and let me tell you, she was the best and smartest math teacher in the country at the time - my 4th grade math teacher said to me that I am the best counter she's ever seen. The best. So if you want me to count to 10, let me tell you I can count to 10 alright. That's no problem. I will do it. I will. And I will do it better than any has ever done it before, ok?"
2

Medical terminology

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The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, 'Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.'

'Well, in plain English,' the doctor replied, 'you're just lazy.'

'Okay,' said the man. 'Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.'
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Q: What does a polish bride get on her wwedding day that is long and hard?
A: A polish last name.
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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