2
Q: Why did they tear down the new arena in Warsaw?
A: Because everywher you sat you were behind a pole.
2
Q: What do you call a polish person who works for the telephone company?

A: A telephone pole.
1
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX - I am impotent.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people.
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow
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the government.
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education, and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate.
Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead in a mini van.
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart).
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
2
Paddy says to Mick, “I'm ready for a holiday, only this year, I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago, I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago, I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."

Mick asks, “So what are you going to do this year?"

Paddy replies, “I tink I'll take her with me."
3
Mick walks into Paddy ' s barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.'

Mick says, 'Paddy, what ya doing?'

Paddy says, 'Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.'
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