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Colonoscopy…

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Being nervous, and embarrassed about my up-coming colonoscopy, on a recommendation, I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating.

As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure

"Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," the nurse told me.

"I don't have an erection," I replied.

"I do" replied the nurse.

Don't get a colonoscopy in San Francisco.
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Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 am and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
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What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?
Snowballs, guys. Snowballs.
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Wait for it... Sue.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the sock hop?
Because he had no, body, to go with.
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