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After divorce, most men realize that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.


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Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

'Oh! Ted died last week.' the first lady replied, 'He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!'

'Oh dear! I'm very sorry,' replied her friend, 'What did you do?'

'Opened a can of peas.' she replied.

New Guy

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The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.

'Need some help?' a secretary asked.

'Yes,' he replied. 'How does this thing work?'

'Simple,' she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. 'Thanks, but where do the copies come out?'

Three friends

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'

Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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