20

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6

divorce

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After divorce, most men realize that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.
5

Love

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Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

'Oh! Ted died last week.' the first lady replied, 'He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!'

'Oh dear! I'm very sorry,' replied her friend, 'What did you do?'

'Opened a can of peas.' she replied.
4

What's in the bags?

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A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders.

The guard asks, 'What's in the bags?'

The fellow says, 'Sand!'

The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border. Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated...

'What have you there?' 'Sand' 'We want to examine.'

Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow is on his wa
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y again. Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up.

However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, 'Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything what were you smuggling?' The fellow says, 'Bicycles.'
4

New Guy

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The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.

'Need some help?' a secretary asked.

'Yes,' he replied. 'How does this thing work?'

'Simple,' she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. 'Thanks, but where do the copies come out?'
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Jokeland.org is an open source collection of jokes, riddles, and funny memes. See our sister site at Jokeland.ca. ALL net proceeds from these sites will be donated to the MS Society.

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