6

divorce

rsstacey Jokes My Joke   Discuss    Add To
After divorce, most men realize that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.
4
Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he
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asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed...

4

Knock Knock

HeadJoker Jokes My Joke   Discuss    Add To
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Dishes
Dishes Who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
4

my ex-wife

HeadJoker Jokes My Joke   Discuss    Add To
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been
thinking, now that we are married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.
You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.

Tom got a horrified look on his face.

S
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he said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Tom replied: “I wasn't"


4
A World War II Spitfire pilot is speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences. "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared." There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle. "I looked up, and realized that two of the fokkers were directly above me. I aimed at the first one and shot him down. By then, though, the other fokker was right on my tail." At this point, sever
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al of the elderly ladies of the church were blushing with embarrassment, the girls were all giggling and the boys laughing loudly. The pastor finally stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company, who made many of the planes used by the Germans during the war." "Yes, that's true," says the old pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts".
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